dirty chocolate jokes dirty chocolate jokes

If youve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youre eating it too slowly. C? What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? Maria. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. Chocolate chimp! If there is one thing that every person should try in their lives, it would be having a bite of chocolate! If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. My love for you is like hot chocolate, I just cant hold on to it. What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common? Dont you think having you and sweet food in my life is redundant? Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. A Bounty-ful! Sandra Bullock, Twill make Old Women Young and Fresh; Create New Motions of the Flesh. Our selection of dark chocolate jokes ranging from chocolate bars to chocolate cookies will make you laugh so hard. Copy This. Your email address will not be published. Health The pope retorts "Chocolates? Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". Your email address will not be published. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. You have this certain snap that made me notice you just like how I know a good bar from bad. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? Patrick Skene Catling. It sprinkles. Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! Mr. Good Whats nice and petite, with chocolate in the middle? It can make us feel happy and a lot more. How dairy, who? I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Chocolate-covered aunts.What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. The lovable Charlie, who is one of a group of children to win a tour of the mysterious Chocolate Factory of the eccentric candymaker, Willy Wonka . In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born? You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. Knock knock! Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . Are you chocolate milk? Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. It is crazy, the way you make this heart beat faster the way only sweets can do to me. 5. Chocoearly. I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Ill eat anything! Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! The smile looks really good on you. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. 1 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Scooter: Haunted Explorations - Overnight Challenge - Exploring With Josh! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. What is the opposite of Chocolate? Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. Is your name sweet because you absolutely are. Your email address will not be published. I hate Bounty Hunters. Who's there? Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . I like to keep my Options open.Whats the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? Smorse Code. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. I love it, I love it, I love it. I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. 131 Star Wars Jokes That Definitely Have The Force. If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Chocolates are an excellent energy-booster, but they go extremely wild when kids have overeaten. Why? Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. I'll start by nibbling on your ears and save the rest for last. A: To get chocolate milk. Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. How dairy! Nope, all outer space.. Sniggas. "Keeps him from falling out of bed. You are signed up for our newsletter! I am a serious chocoholic. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! A marsbar! Required fields are marked *. I do not like sweets but I would gladly eat them just to get close to you. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. I live for it. A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Bad knees.. You know youre a chocoholic if the bartender tells you youve had enough shots of chocolate syrup for one night. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Because I would like to purchase a sweet like you. I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. Life is a like a box of chocolates, and I cannot imagine my life without you. Katharine Hepburn. Knock knock! Just ice cream. Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. What does it do before it rains candy? 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!. Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796, So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. Andrew Weil, M.D. Terry Moore. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. Its strengthening, restorative, and apt to repair decayed strength and make people strong. A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. Q: What job function does a complete moron have in an M&M factory? With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth. A candy baaaaa-r! Ouch you are giving me a good kind of toothache just because of your sweetness. Louis Lemery, 1702, The divine drink which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. Ice Cream Jokes. These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. Are your legs made of Nutella? What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy? Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. Your email address will not be published. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. A Butterfinger! Comedy Central. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Chocolate mousse! the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. Enjoy. Chocolate doesnt make the world go round, but it sure does make the trip worthwhile! I do not want anything fancy just you and a whole bowl of flavored ice cream. I love a man with chocolate on his breath. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Nestle Crunk bar. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.". A chocolate shake. What do you call stolen cocoa? Sandra Boynton, Other things are just food. . What does a box of chocolate and life have in common? Because I want to swallow every last drop of you. Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate.But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. That way, at least youll get one thing done. He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship.". 4. Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing? If they dont have chocolate in heaven, I aint going. Religion I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. . Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? You're the milk to my cookie. Dear I would pour all the sweetness I have in my body towards you to make you happy. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, nuff said. 8) No Country for Old Men: An ageism flick about a couple of retired buddies looking to vacation . If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. ( Ice Cream Jokes) What one thing became more clear as you got older?. A Kitty Kat bar! Donut worry, be happy! The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. Are you Willy Wonka? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. Who doesnt love chocolate? Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast. Banana Jokes. You are the kind of sweet I am not willing to share. . We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. 9) Looking for Mr. Goodbar: A kid goes to a candy store and can't find his favorite chocolate bar.Chaos ensues. You have this ability to make me so happy like only sweet foods can do. If you have enjoyed this collection, we sure have more for you. - Chocolate Joke [2] Jokes 4 Us - Chocolate Joke [3] Fun Kids Jokes - Chocolate Joke [4] Worst Jokes Ever - Chocolate Joke [5] MyTownTutors - Chocolate Joke [6] SuperJokes - Chocolate Joke [7] Ireland Calling - Chocolate Joke Candy cow jump over the moon? I promise Ill make you forget all the bad things this day brought by being your stash if sweet. We know we love them! What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? The tenth lies. Thanks. One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. If you were ice cream and i was chocolate sauce, I'd pour my love all over you! If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Chocolates can give us a lot of emotions. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? What do you call an extra sweet cookie? Mostly disappointing. Are you chocolate milk? He rubs it and a genie appears. Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. I am all for chocolate and falling in love with you. The other watches your snatch. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. I always carry chocolate instead. Hes a chocolate lab. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Share. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. Youre hot, and I want to be on top of you. What do you call a black guy with Parkinsons? Forget you put it in the microwave. Q: What happens if you mix hot cacao and hot cocoa by hand? Chocolate covered aunts. A: ao! Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. "Take only one. I hope in all the stars that you and I will not have any expiration date. Its my favorite feeling. In deaths agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. Want to come with me? Who is the sweetest man in the world? Candy! Whats Boris Johnsons favourite chocolate bar? Cocoa-Nuts. If it aint chocolate, it aint breakfast! What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? Check out the list of chocolate jokes and puns! Why did the donut visit the dentist? @. A man found a bottle on the beach. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. To get chocolate milk. Donut stop believing. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! 7. Its a Ferrari Rocher.I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasnt that funny and only got Snickers out of me.Life is like a box of chocolates full of nuts.A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Chocoearly. Boy I can make you melt in my mouth and in my hand like chocolate. Itll take the edge off your appetite, and youll eat less. These cute and funny Valentine's Day sayings are sweeter than chocolate and guaranteed to make your loved ones (both kids and adults) LOL all day long. Have a look! He turned into a box of chocolates. The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" Is your name chocolate, because you make my serotonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. - Gary Delaney. The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate. Chalk You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles. What kind of candy is never on time? Plane Chocolate! I feel better already. The third kid went down and said, "Weeeeeeee . Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? A Wispa.Knock, knock.Whos there?Candy boy.Candy boy who?Candy boy have another piece of chocolate? When Luke was having trouble eating noodles with chopsticks, Leia said: "Use the forks, Luke." Chewie wanted a biscuit, so Luke gave him a chocolate chip Wookie. My dear, how will you ever manage? I feel like I went to heaven full of chocolate upon getting a taste of you. CNN . Ready for some chocolate jokes? A Guyanese and a Jamaican walk into a store, the guyanese tief a chocolate bar and when they left the store he said "yuh see dat?" Why a carrot as a logo? Were I to impregnate you, in several years the child will purchase you flowers and chocolates. Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. You never know what youre gonna get. Nursing Home I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.So I try to eat healthy.But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.What type of snack is never on time?Choco-late.My cousin works in a chocolate shop.He works behind the bar.Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.They believe its Pharaoh Roche.My son is three years old and I took him shopping.When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.Now, I didnt buy it and he certainly didnt buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.I asked if I could have 2.He said, No. Chocolate Ice Cream. (Its the only planet with chocolate.). When the three kids discover that a . Ah, chocolate: one of life's simple pleasures. What did you guys do? A Skor! I cant stand eating Turkey two days in a row. Lora Brody, Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet, A true chocolate lover finds ways to accommodate his passion and make it work with his lifestyle. What is the opposite of Chocolate? It sprinkles! Candy, who? At home it is always sweet o clock. I never met a chocolate I didnt like. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. She died.". HER-SHEy's Kisses! What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. Knock knock! Are you chocolate spread? I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn't that funny So I just snickered. 0 Laughs. The lisp magician gives everyone a chocolate bar. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Copy This. Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. I do not need anything special because you are enough special in my life. Thomas Jefferson, All of the evil that people have thrust upon chocolate is really more deserved by milk chocolate, which is essentially contaminated. I will not ever need sweets if I already have you in my life. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. It gets her Snickers in a Twix. Cadburies have announced theyre going into administration. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. Whos there? I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. Chocolate fantasy in progress. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. Whos there? #2. I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? We believe chocolate consumption may have the same effect. Some like it hot, some like it cold; I like it chocolate! So I thought I should start a website about jokes. You can taek-won-do.Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?So that itll fit inside the box.In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.Preferred pronouns are Her/she.I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasnt arrived yet.Boy, its taking its sweet time getting here.People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.WellIve got a few Twix up my sleeve.I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.I said to him, I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!He replied, Have to love Easter, baby.Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.Theyll kill your dog.I love chocolate.Hard candy is for suckers.I put my friends chocolate bars in different wrappers. Choc it up to experience.Double choc everything.Here you bar.This will definitely come in candy.Im chocolate to my appointment!For their summer holiday, the chocolate couple rented a two-bedroom sweet.That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street.You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts.For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse.The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp.The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.These days, shoes are called snickers.Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!Chocolate coins are mint to be eaten.I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Knock knock! Those are really cool jokes man and the quotes are awesome, Amazing..Im craving chocolate now.drool drool, Imogen all the people Because she was a Her-She-y bar! An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. Cao-cao! Women Its flake news. Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. Put it in the microwave. Keep calm and eat cookies. *wink wink*. You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. PayDay! Copy This. Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. I dont really get the jokes funny at all! So, eat lots of chocolate! Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. Sense of Humor. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. So candy bars are a health food. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog. Check it out. Why not! Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. There you are in front of me. The little boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". What are the 4 major food groups? Baby Ruth! It must have been so dark I didnt see the other one. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). Later, at the Cacao Festival, I shared my CHOCOLATE letters with my new girlfriend, Ethel. "No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. Counselor Deanna Troi, Start Trek: The Next Generation. God is watching." More jokes about: animal, blonde, chocolate, stupid. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? C? A chocolate pun! Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist? I do not need a ganache on my cake because you are enough sweet for me. Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. 2. (LogOut/ Here we have funny cookie jokes that include some funny chocolate chip cookies' jokes, sugar cookie jokes, a joke about a cookie sheet, and a Christmas cookie joke that'll make your heart full of laughter. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! There was a million dollars. Coffee, chocolate, men some things are just better rich. Dont they actually counteract each other? They believe its the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? The closer you get to a pure chocolate liquor (the chocolate essence ground from roasted cacao beans) the purer it is, the more satisfying it is, the safer it is, and the healthier it is. (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? More jokes for some laughs! And I don't love chocolate. . Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk? You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? Are you Hershey's chocolate? Returning visitor? It's so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk. 75 FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute! It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? Are you chocolate spread? She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" Cacao. "I know . Why does the jellybean go to school? I do not mind gaining more weight as long as you do it with me. But considering the pandemic that our world is currently facing, the most important thing is that laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease.